He's a car dude.
This kid is a full blown car nut. And has been since the day he could comprehend. As long as he's been able to holler for the things he wants, you know, the way kids want boobies for breakfast lunch and dinner (another way I'm sure we are kindred), or when he had pooped his diaper and wanted changing. He's wanted cars, trucks, Hot Wheels, Matchbox cars (cheap Hot Wheel substitutes), and most anything car related. The first words I ever taught him was "Camaro", "Corvette", and "Super Sport". Now this might sound like bragging, but at four he knows the difference between a Lamborghini Mercialago and an Aventador, no biggie for a grown up died-in-the-wool car dude, but four years old? I've been a car nut my entire life and my wife still thinks most Mercedes look like a Ford product. Youda thunk (its a word), some of the thousands of car mags, car programs, or cars I've owned, something might have helped her be able to dileniate car brands to some degree. I say that because the mother of my grandson (also known as my daughter) fell from my wife's loins and my grandson from hers. Of course, it might indeed be written in my grandsons DNA strand passed magically and mysteriously to him from me. Jonah loves everything automotive. It's assuredly a DNA thing.
I say that because in my opinion, men and women getting married (or not), and having children are to me like making breakfast. It's a level if commitment. Now you'll hear women say at one point or another, "men are pigs", and to some degree that might be true. Most men I've known long term oscillate in and out of pigdom depending on the current situation and terrain. Dudes know of what I speak. Women are from another planet and men are from the trough. Ok, back to the breakfast analogy and kid making...in this most unpopular of analogies, the women are actually pigs and men are chickens. If you dudes reading this just whispered "oh shit", don't worry, it's about levels of commitment, so no worries. Here goes:
When it comes to commitment, men and women making babies are like cooking breakfast; men, like chickens, make a contribution. Women, like the pig, make a commitment. OK boys, be very carful when using this analogy around your bride or you baby making (or practicing) will be be severely impacted, and in a most negative way. Men, in the baby making process itself, make a contribution...the sperm...plus the 35 seconds it took to get them up from their nap to full employment. Women on the other hand, make a commitment. They commit their heart and soul to being a mother unless they are a crack whore. Add in the fact that the second they know for sure they are pregnant and everything changes. The worry gene surfaces in all its glory. Scenarios that might have never been considered are suddenly considered and at every turn. You know the drill. And last but certainly not least, the women sacrifice their lovely bodies to the process. And they will comment on its effects for the rest of their lives. And that's OK.
I'll relay this bit of wisdom forwarded to me by my awesome father, of whose genetic code I am most assuredly written. I know this because my first words were "Corvette" and "Dada". He told me this truth any years ago concerning men and baby making. He said that women were ordained by God himself to have babies, and rightfully so. If men were subjected to nine months of another person growing inside of them, their bodies changing and swelling along with their feet, hands, noses, and ultimately ending with the equivalent of pushing a fully inflated basketball out into the world from between their legs in a flurry of screams, blood and doctors, only to hold their breath until they hear the faint cry of the little one who has been safely growing safely inside there womb just prior to being forced into this cold cruel world (is it sinking in yet fellas?)...well calculated pause so you can really comprehend. Heres the truth, if men had babies every other day would be a national holiday and every street in the United States of America would be named after dudes who've had babies. You and I both know its true.
Whew! Can I get a witness!
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