Facebook philosophers and boot piss pourers

I hang out on Facebook for a few minutes every day and I realized something. Facebook is like a High School and family reunion all rolled into one, updated everyday. You can talk about every thing from philosophy, religion and politics based on facts you read on the same internet that Facebook looms on. It is interesting that a lot of guys I knew in school who could not pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel (intellectually speaking) are now Facebook philosophers, espousing everything from life quotes and marital advice. “Hell, I oughta know about marriage, I’ve been married seven times, three times to the same woman” to advice on religion “God said be fruitful and multiply…so I tried with a lot of women at the same time and all my wives objected for some reason". Motivational speaking via the keyboard “Everyone needs something to believe in, I believe I’ll have some more beer” to ” Why I hate wearing underwear”. It’s all out there to read every day…and these people have drivers licenses and can vote. Makes me wonder when it all went south.

My daughter said, “Dad do you think high school educations will go away when everybody realizes that if you have internet access and google, you are a genius?” Whoa Nellie! She has a point there. What if it actually comes to that. Every body gets a cell phone (the name WILL get changed to something like INTELLIGENCE CONFIRMATION DEVICE or something along those lines). Information will be subject to Google or Yahoo conformation, or whatever the government (at the time) utilizes for information flow to the public. That will be just before the total collapse of society as we know it.. I’m not writing a “Pelican Brief” or some futuristic manifesto here, it’s happening right now. Don't believe it? Watch one episode of Honey Boo-boo, then lets talk. The funniest part of this calamity is how these folks who obtain their information second-hand and without examination (to partially quote Twain) and espouse it as their own, claim some sort of defacto ownership and pride solely based on their ability to type fast with their thumbs, and cut and paste!

Who will run this country someday. the fastest thumb typing kid?

I’m thinking over a few things that has drastically changed since I was a kid, and I’ve come up with a few worth noting.

1. When I was a kid, staying indoors was a prison sentence and standard punishment when I “cut the fool” as I heard one Mom call it. Now a days, sending a kid outside might get the ACLU or DFACS summoned with the I-Phone 5 the same kid got as a gift for being good that week or eating all his green beans.

2. Technology was a simple thing when I was a kid. The G.I. Joe with the Kung-fu grip was a mind-boggling thing. G.I. Joe didn't have feelings he needed to share. He was a butt kicker and name taker. Now G.I. Joe has a GPS built-in for flying in the G.I. Joe plane, and he has a G.I. Joe Corvette with the road sensing suspension. And he now has a therapist. We built stuff with rocks and sticks and it was all good.

3. Forts and tree huts. It’s a rare throwback kid that builds forts and huts these days. It was the basic building block of kid society when I was a young construction worker. My long time pal Zach and I built a tree house so far up a tree his Mom nearly wouldn’t let him get up in it. I fell out of it and landed in what we called “dookey creek” because it stunk so bad. Good thing it was there or my short-term future might have involved a large pillow in my face while lying crippled in my bed. There was barely enough room for the two of us up there, but when we were, we were Kings.

4. Cars. When I was in school, any car was an awesome car. These days, if a kid doesn’t drive a BMW, Porsche, Range Rover or some other foreign car, he/she might as well quit school and take up the janitorial arts. Up side is, most of the kids driving the same fancy cars will be working for those who didn’t some day. I drove a GTO that me and a buddy built, and I was glad to have it. Our school parking lot was filled with four door cars and grandma cars and a few station wagons, but every one acknowledged that having a car, any car, was cool.

5. Playing sports was a privilege that was not taken lightly. Being in the band wasn’t taken lightly, Cheerleading meant something other than being considered dumb. You worked hard, you tried out, and sometimes you just didn’t cut the mustard and you didn’t make it. It was a valuable life lesson on hard work and perseverance. If you didn’t make it the first time, work harder and try, try again. Everybody did not get a trophy. It was life.

6. Teachers were cool. They were allowed to teach and have personalities and we were all the better for it. These great humans are being squeezed out anymore and the entirety of young society is being dumbed down to think alike. There are teachers and coaches whose influence I will never forget, some good and some bad. Either way, a learning experience was had. I got my ass paddled when I acted up and couldn’t BS my way out of it. My folks didn’t threaten to sue the school, they usually doubled down on the whipping, warning me to never show my ass at school “or else”.

I’ll add more to this as it evolves.