Today we will (if there is indeed a WE) talk about relationships. Complicated thing, relationships, but it bares at least a page or two, so here we go.

Some relationships will be blessings, others will serve as lessons. Remember, for every kid your mom warned you about, there were at least five kids who's Moms were warning them about staying away from you. I had a cousin tell me one time, "My mom (this is my dad's sister we're talking about) said if we weren't related she wouldn't let me hang around with you at the family reunions..." with emphasis on FAMILY REUNION.  And he was a relative...and she was my aunt.

Life is full of fake people. Duuuh! I'm not talking about stripper women with boob jobs and face lifts and implants of every sort. I'm talking straight up, no good lying SOB's who'd sell tickets in advance to screw over a friend or relative. You know the type, they are totally devoid of any form of ethical standard until someone sticks it to them, then ethics was the standard by which they were raised. We've all met them, and if you read number one on this list, someone might think you are that person.

People can easily be buttholes with their words. Well, no shit Sherlock Holmes. 'Scuse the french, but seriously. Women are the worst at it. My example is this: A table full of women are in a bar and a beautiful woman comes walking in. What do the women say? "Look at that Bitch". Men are in the same bar and Brad Pitt or George Clooney walks in..."Dude! You are the man! Snatch master!" with high fives and cold brews all around. Men just get it.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Some folks are just sandpaper when it comes to relationships. There are folks I'd give my left arm (or other parts only a man can give, and it's a left side part too) to help. Then there are some I'd not take a good foamy piss on if they were on fire. I've learned to just keep my distance and fool myself into believing that they were good people at some point, I'm just not sure at what point they were good. I also accept that fact that to some folks, I'm the person on fire, in need of a human fire department, but hey that's life.  My dad said "If a person can't be friends with me, they have bad taste. I can be friends with anybody." I feel the same way.

When times get tough, some people will leave you. I can attest to that truth. Waaay back in 1990 when I got my cornfield plowed under by a kid driving a Jeep, a lot of my "friends" disappeared like a single-wide trailer in a tornado. One in particular, was a life-long friend who I considered to be my best friend and one I had been acquainted with since I was in the single digits (below ten years old). I was thirty at the time and we'd been friends for 21 years, and the most recent 21 years at that. I spent two years laid up in the hospital and didn't see him once. When I finally got out at age 32, I asked him where the hell had he been. His answer: "You shoulda known I was your friend 'cause I wasn't hitting on your wife while you were gone." My wife warned me of him the first time she met him, and she was right. I hear he now lives in his parent’s basement and is a de-facto relationship expert. He's been divorced five times, so he's got to be an authority on divorce, seeing marriage obviously isn't his thing.

We'll do more on this subject tomorrow.